Saturday, July 11, 2015

#192

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What is one supposed to make of a poem that begins, “Love me love me love me love me love me / I am in need thereof, I mean of love”? I guess it’s a love poem, huh? I do suspect the definition of “love” here is the more narrow one, though it broadens out into actual emotion by the time the poem is over. The emotion is complicated when he acknowledges that to marry the young and beautiful Kate was a “hasty & violent step” for her. Then this: “Slowly the sloth moved on in search of prey”—a reference to conventional sloth & laziness clearly, but also a more complicated reference to the work-inhibiting habits, like booze intake.  The sloth crossing the road over crackling electric wires is an emotionally complex image, at least, and then a reference to real complication: “Swiftly the wind rose, gorgons showed their teeth, / while the bombs bombed on empty territory beneath. / I love you.”

To juxtapose that last obsequious “I love you” with violent images of bombs and monsters raging over a landscape of emptiness—yikes. Relationships can be loaded with this kind of thing, of course, though it’s generally not supposed to be held up for public consumption and commentary. You talk it out with a trusted friend or two over lunch or a beer. If you live near one of the coasts, you pay extravagant money to work it through with your therapist. This? I feel uncomfortably voyeuristic, like I should politely turn my head and cough. In a bar, I’d just throw this out: Show some pride, will ya? Keep your squabbling and your hat-in-hand groveling and begging for sex to yourself, will ya? Jeez! But that was not how this guy rolled. I do sometimes find his emotional exhibitionism distasteful, and I question whether he crosses the line between courageous art and a simple undignified dropping of his pants. I want to hand him a canvas tarp from out of the shed, or grab a towel off the clothesline and toss it at him. Then pretend for a couple hours I didn’t see what I saw. I’ll work on the car in the garage, change the oil and the sparkplugs, while listening to the Reds and Cardinals game on the radio. Then I’ll go fishing, and when I catch the first bass of the evening I’ll pop the hook out of his jaw, and there will be some blood, and I’ll hand this business to the fish and let him carry it to the bottom of the river and stash it under a goddam rock, where it belongs. I will feel grateful to the fish and acknowledge the animal’s admirable stoic dignity. Fish are solid that way.

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