Have you ever felt whirped out?
Ever whip out whines afore? Ever feel weft on your own? Then twy The Dweam Songs! That’s right, now you too
can console your wounded humanity and assuage your deepest insecurities,
brought on by your very own habits of bad behavior, but none of that need matter
anymore! The Dream Songs will vindicate
decades of foolish social iniquity through obscure, self-indulgent, but artistically
constructed rationales that justify every mistake you’ve ever made! The Dream Songs were developed by a
highly trained literary artist, and certified by the Pulitzer Prize Committee
and the qualified experts of the National Book Award Selection Board. Nine out
of ten writers and literary critics agree: The
Dream Songs will compensate for your most embarrassing social gaffes, your
most destructive alcoholic black-outs, the most insulting sexist innuendos, all
turned into brilliant social commentary and profound confessional artistry—practically
overnight! Your students will be dazzled, your colleagues awe-stricken, and
your ex-wives may even stop clamoring for money long enough to shake their heads
and admit that your sad, indefatigable genius still makes them secretly love
you! And how about those girls, eh? With
baby talk, blackface minstrel patois, and frank confessions of lust, self-doubt,
and shame, you’ll be the envy of every poet in the academy! Try The Dream Songs—you’ll be glad you did!
Buy a book of them today!
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